Sometimes I wonder….How many times am I going to have to walk this same road? I take two steps forward, feel clear, inspired, connected to myself…And then suddenly...three steps back. The doubt creeps in.
Who do you think you are? What makes you think you can do this? Maybe you’re not good enough. Maybe you’re not ready. Maybe you’ve got it all wrong. And just like that, the thing that felt so clear yesterday suddenly feels impossible today.
I think we sometimes imagine that when we finally find our path, the fear will disappear. That once we know what we’re meant to do, we’ll feel confident, certain, ready. But I’m beginning to understand that it doesn’t quite work that way.
The path can be right…and we can still be afraid.
We can be deeply aligned…and still question ourselves.
We can know, somewhere deep inside, that we’re being called forward…and still hear the old voices telling us to stay small.
These are the blocks that keep showing up. And perhaps the invitation isn’t to destroy them or dismiss them. Perhaps it is to become conscious of them. To recognize the voice without believing everything it says. To notice the fear without allowing it to become the decision-maker. To pause when the old belief says…”Who do you think you are? ....and answer, “I am the woman who is learning to remember.”
This is where I feel the presence of Sekhmet. The fierce one. She who awakens the fire. The one who does not apologize for her power.
Sekhmet doesn’t ask us to become fearless. She asks us to have awareness for the stories that keep us small.
She reminds us that courage isn’t the absence of fear.
Courage is standing in the presence of fear and saying,
‘You can come with me, but you don’t get to lead.”
Not...Why am I back here? But...What is this moment asking me to remember?
Maybe it is patience. Maybe it is trust. Maybe it is learning to receive instead of constantly proving. Maybe it is allowing yourself to be seen. Maybe it is believing in your own gifts before anyone else validates them. Maybe it is simply taking the next step. Not the whole staircase. Just the next step.
We can mistake resistance for being on the wrong path. But sometimes resistance appears precisely because we are moving into territory that is new.
The old version of us knows how to survive in the familiar. But the emerging version of us is learning how to live in the unknown and that can feel incredibly uncomfortable.
So when the doubt comes…when the fear rises…when you hear that familiar voice whispering...Who do you think you are? Perhaps you don’t need to argue with it. Perhaps you can simply place your hand over your heart and remember:
I don’t need to know everything.
I don’t need to feel completely confident.
I don’t need everyone’s approval.
I don’t need to prove my worth.
I only need the courage to take the next honest step.
Sekhmet is asking us to embody these truths even if things aren’t perfect and even when things aren’t certain.
She asks us to embody the courage within in. The courage to keep walking. The courage to be seen. The courage to trust what we know deep within ourselves. The courage to become the woman we have been quietly becoming all along.
And when we stumble? We don’t have to call it failure.
We can simply say….
“Ah… here is another place where I am being asked to remember.”
To remember that you are capable, worthy and allowed to take up space. To remember that you don’t need to have it all figured out to keep moving forward.
Fear can come along for the ride AND.... you can keep walking on your path.
To remember all that we bring... Our experience, wisdom, courage, resilience and all that we have already survived and all that we have created.
The path isn’t asking us to stop having doubts. Perhaps it is asking us to stop letting our doubts determine where we go. To continue to place our hands on our heart and know that we are held, guided and trust in the path before us through remembrance.
Our journey isn’t going to be a sweet ride with no bumps in the road. The fears and doubts will arise, but it is in these moments that we are asked to choose differently. To choose our worth, to continue on the path even in fear. To trust in the Divine Goddess and allow Great Mother to embrace us on our journey back to ourselves.
And so it is….
Blessing Beautiful Soul,
~J
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